Scribblings One: 'What Would You Attempt if You Knew You Would Not Fail?'

I was searching the web looking for somewhere where I could get some prompts for my blog. I love posting about my weight loss, my life, my feelings, but sometimes (like right now) I am in desperate need of a deeper, more powerful post to keep my heart and soul open. I hope that makes sense.

So I found, through an avenue of a Google search and two blogs, a blog that is no longer being updates regularly, however it is a blog that was started to offer writing prompts to writers who may be struggling with Writer's Block, for those who journal, for those who seem to need something to write. And sometimes that is exactly what I need.

WHAT WOULD YOU ATTEMPT IF YOU KNEW YOU WOULD NOT FAIL?

This is an age old question... and some people take it and run with it, deep down to the depths of their soul, and some people take it to a silly place, keeping it light and airy.

I want to keep it in the middle.

Before I begin I want to start with a story... Once upon a time...

When I was a junior in college, I realized that I needed to study abroad. Now or never. It was something I needed to do right then or I would never have to opportunity to do it again. So I did a tiny bit of research and (like my college search) picked one place, applied, was accepted, and the rest is history. I was going to Ireland. Only for 6 weeks, in the summer, but it was an opportunity to spread my wings, experience something I never have before, and something that I could use to grow myself in the most magical way possible.

This was something that I knew I would love to do and something that not all my friends had the opportunity to do and something that would make me unique to potential employers, etc. So I decided to do it, packed my bags, and I was off like a dirty shirt (Pretty in Pink reference!).

When I saw this question I wanted to do something silly and not very personal, however, I think there are too many things in this world that are no longer personal. And a blog should be, because I am writing it for myself. There may be people reading it, there may not, but I love writing so much and think this is a great way to work on it. To get that fix that writing sometimes gives me. 

So I would attempt to move to a foreign country on a whim. Specifically Ireland. Perhaps the UK.

Image found on a Google Search for Cliffs of Moher, Ireland.

I don't mean whim, as in decide to buy a plane ticket on a Tuesday and be in the new city, state, country, continent by Friday. However, I mean decide to go for personal and selfish reasons. I wouldn't want to go because a job was offered to me somewhere, or because my boyfriend got a job there, or because I had family or friends asking me to go there. I would want to do it because I had a wanderlust coating on my heart and that I was itching for an adventure. I would want to have nothing to go on but a few apartment guides, the help wanted ads, and the kindness of distant relatives and friends of friends (or even friends of friends of friends; I'm not picky about that).

The job is something that I would struggle with, however, in this perfect world created by this question, I think it is only fair to realize that I wouldn't fail. I would find a job and an apartment. I wouldn't fail in all the things I wouldn't be able to fail in. The basic, human, necessities: food, water, shelter.

I am now taking liberties with this question and assuming that, I wouldn't fail with things that matter, but I would be in a position to face emotional and personal failure. I would still be able to get my heart broken, face hardships when it came to success, getting everything I wanted, living the lifestyle I had only dreamed of. 

I wouldn't call getting everything you wanted easily and readily to be considered not failing. I just mean that the big things can't go wrong, or they can but never without a faith-based back-up plan.

Now that I am looking at this I think this is a possible achievement. I believe that, for the most part, we never actual fail. We have set backs, less than ideal circumstances, but none of those are components to a lack of success. They are simply bumps in the long road of life. Success wouldn't be considered so sweet if we never failed at anything. If everything were handed to us, our expectations would be greater than the universe and would never be met.

So, in conclusion, it looks like the main ideal here is "What would you attempt if you knew you would not fail?" But if you look at the opportunities and the small 'failures' they really just lead to the amazing successes and the things that open us up to much better things in this world.

Embrace the failures. They lead to the most amazing successes.

Alright folks.. Listen up!

I am COMPLETELY AWARE that I have been slacking off on weigh-ins. Just meaning I skipped last week. But that was because I was in a mood and already a little upset so I decided that I needed to give myself a break and not ruin my Thursday.

My boyfriend told me to do it because it COULD be amazing. I could be surprised that I was down. But I just wanted to avoid the chance that it was up.

So this weekend, a few of my friends from college all met up and we went to my parents' beach condo for the weekend. Most of us still live in the area so we can easily spend time together, but this was a special weekend because one of the girls lives in LA. And she made the plane trip up here to spend some time and catch up.

Well, I know that would constitute a LOT of eating. Girls Weekends always do. So I did my best to eat not too much and to INSIST on walking on the beach as much as possible. So that's what we did.

I have a FitBit and I decided to wear it during the weekend to see if I could get some good steps in. I recently reset my goal to 5,000 steps a day, instead of the pre-programmed 10,000 steps, just because I knew I would struggle to get 10,000 steps at my new job. And although that may not seem like very many, it has been a more manageable goal for me. And, although most days it is much to hot to do anything, at the beach the weather made me so happy. Which made being outside the best! So we walked... and walked... and walked. On Saturday, I hit 18,000 steps and have the sore muscles to prove it. Just to clarify this, I would like to mention that I am not athletic, nor in shape, but I can walk without a problem... but walking in loose, dry sand, that is a different story. My ankles and calves are screaming. And that feeling makes me feel good.

A friend of mine could not come down until Saturday afternoon, and that was because she is a nurse and had to work the Friday Night shift. So she was able to come on Saturday and have a great day. She also is recently engaged and asked me to... BE HER MAID OF HONOR!!

I am so blessed and feel so honored and excited to be part of such a huge part of her life! However, that means there will be a million pictures of me taken.. and in a dress.. and that is just something that I am not ready for. Not yet. I am not happy with the way my body looks and I think this is just the push I need to work through some of my issues with food and some of my "pushing it to the back burner" tendencies with all dieting.

You see, I get this idea in my head that one bag of Cheetos won't matter, one GIANT cookie won't matter, a bowl of ice cream won't matter, eating out for lunch AND dinner won't matter. And, I know that usually one of those things wouldn't matter if I did just one of them once in a while. However, instead, I do two or three a DAY! And that has to stop.

I have to stop living my life like something else is coming along. That I can do all these things tomorrow, that I can worry about it tomorrow, that something is going to happen SOMEDAY. What about today?

So now that I have 411 days. That's how long I have to get to my goal weight. And looking at that number and thinking I have plenty of time is NOT an option. It is something that I need to do today so that I won't look at that number and see just 11 days and want to cry because I haven't done anything.

I do that all the time. I look at a date and I see that I have SO much time. I can do this, this, and this before the day. Then the day comes, and I haven't done anything.

However, with all this being said, I know I am someone who cannot deprive myself of sweets, treats, and unhealthy food. So I am just going to look for alternatives.

Right now, having just got back from my lunch and wanting some hot chocolate, I am having No Sugar Added Hot Chocolate Packs. They're 1 PP per pack. And I like mine sweeter so I am having two packs. It is something that satisfies my sweet tooth, and isn't too heavy on points, AND I don't have to be worried about my weight loss journey.. Its all about finding the balance and the help that I need in order to find my weight loss stride.

Weight Watcher Girl, whom I have spoken about many times, has really been an inspiration for me. She is so sweet and understand and every week she posts new food points that are low in points, or she shows recipes that are great when it comes to PP value and taste.

If I am going to do this, I have to just do it. Quit being so scared to fail that I sit there being stagnant.

I just want to love myself and my body.

While I was at the beach this weekend, I wrote in this journal I carry with me about how gossip leaves you feeling awful, even if it is fun and engaging at the moment. And that's how I relate to eating. Cheetos taste amazing and are satisfying in the very beginning for a short time, but they leave me feeling awful and not happy in the long haul. I just need to keep myself more focused and the wedding is a great place to start.

Thank you for reading!

I promise to weigh-in on Thursday no matter how I am feeling.

I also may change my weigh in day to Tuesdays.. That may make a difference. But we will see.

Thank you again! I am sending encouraging thoughts and happiness to you all!

Fifty Facts about Me.

It felt like time to share some things about myself. I have done some surveys (reminiscent of MySpace) in the past, but I thought it would be fun to add fifty things about me that give insight into me.

1. I have always been surrounded by the number 8.
2. I am 5'8".
3. I wear shoe size 8.
4. My birthday is June 8th, 1988.
5. My younger brother is the COOLEST person I know.
6. He's writing a novel.
7. He inspired me to write a novel as well.
8. Him and I look VERY similar. You would never knew we were five years apart.
9. I have naturally curly hair. I hated it the first 20 years of my life, and now I love it.
10. I don't take it too seriously though. I have had my hair every length, and every color, including purple, which was my favorite!
11. I spent the first half of my life believing that my eyes were hazel. Then I really looked at myself and realized they are as green as green eyes can be.
12. The Raw Food Diet sounds amazing to me because I love fruit. I eat a lot of it.
13. I also love Doritos, macaroni and cheese, ice cream, doughnuts, and cereal. All of which would make the Raw Food Diet impossible.
14. Milk is at the top of my list as favorite drinks.
15. I am very much an old woman at heart. Bed at 9 pm, up at 5 am, watching TV and reading, and being content with the small group of family and close friends.
16. Grocery shopping gives me a thrill.
17. All shopping does, actually.
18. I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year ( He asked me to be his girlfriend on July 22, 2013), and I knew from the moment I saw him, two and a half months before he asked me to be hid girlfriend, that he was the one.
19. I have always had a thing for tall men. My boyfriend is 6'5".
20. I have done a bit of travelling, and would love to do it more and more as I grow older.
21. I lived in Hollywood, California for a brief time.
22. I studied abroad in Ireland.
23. I believe, strongly, in God and Heaven but don't practice any specific religion.
24. I out a lot of emphasis on The Universe. It is the thing that drives everything in our lives. God, serendipity, karma, fate, etc.
25. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Behavioral Science.
26. I am a licensed Esthitician. This allows me to practice waxing, skin treatments, and make-up.
27. Every four years in school, I would hop back and forth between Public and Private school. 
28. I went to an all girls, private high school.
29. I speak to the friends I met on the first day of high school, every single day.
30. One of my closest friends, I met when we were two years old.
31. My best friend, I became friend with when we were in second grade.
32. I have always chosen quality over quantity when it comes to my friends.
33. I hate using the calendar on my phone. I prefer a tangible planner.
34. Dresses are my favorite thing to wear, but I am very picky when purchasing them.
35. I am a Type 1 Diabetic. This means I produce NO insulin and have to inject it into myself every time I eat.
36. I was fortunate enough to get to spend lots of time with my dad since he too early retirement because of an injury. He is the smartest man I know and still my number 1 call whenever I have any problems.
37. I have the OVERWHELMING sense that I need to live in North Carolina at some point.
38. I want to own a dog so much, but am worried that I wouldn't be a good enough mother.
39. I have a very close family unit. My parents, my brother and I could spend weeks together and, fight yes, but still enjoy ourselves thoroughly. 
40. The beach is my favorite place to be. But the Oregon Coast is the top of the list.
41. I am a huge softy.
42. My closet, drawers, shows, and jewelry are all coordinated by color, type, sleeve length.
43. I absolutely LOVE going to the movies.
44. I will not see a scary movie unless I am thoroughly bribed by money and gummi butterflies.
45. Binge watching a show is an understatement for me.
46. Veronica Mars remains my favorite series.
47. I love to read. Once I pick a book up, it is struggle to put it down and to think about anything else.
48. The library is the best place on Earth. I don't own any kind of digital reader, so real books are like gold to me.
49. I tend to get stuck on a song and replay it a million times until I am stuck on another song.
50. I have had the same top three movies since I was 15.
1. The Little Mermaid
2. Walk to Remember
3. Breakfast Club

I thought that would be harder than it was. In the middle I was thinking I wouldn't find anything else. But I got to number 50 and realized I could do a few more. 

However, I will save them until next time.

A Peak and a Pit: One

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN AND PUBLISHED ON MY WEIGHT WATCHER'S BLOG: June 30th, 2014

Because I was so happy about my huge weight loss the first week, I went out and celebrated, and celebrated... and celebrated. And I am down to 1 extra point for the week and I just cannot stop myself. So that was a pit.

Definitely something that I knew would happen for me. Some weeks you just need it, want it, accidentally use it, or whatever. But it's sad that it happened to me so soon into the program. Although, on the other hand, I guess it makes sense that I would do it soon, because taking the amount of food I was in-taking down to 31 points a day, it leaves a lot of room for hunger, or just habit.

But I hope to do better. I think I can. I know I can. It's just a matter or trying a lot harder and planning a lot more!

I am moving soon and will have access to an elliptical and will only have food in the house for me and my boyfriend. Hopefully I won't have to worry about any food that will be a temptation. Because when there is temptation, I cannot say no. I struggle with that a lot.

However, I decided that today, on my lunch break, I wanted to walk around instead of just sitting there doing nothing. And it was so nice. I walked around my building for 15 minutes and enjoyed the sun and just looked around and it was so nice.

So on days where the weather permits, I think that will be a habit for me.

Even though it was only 1 extra point, there is no such thing as small successes!

Happy Monday!

One More Step at a Time...

For your physical health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
It aids in weight loss, promotes healthy skin, and helps with cellulite and discoloration.

2. Eat breakfast like a king.
Eat lunch like a prince.
Eat dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees, plants, and come from the ground.
Eat less things that are manufactured in plants.

For the health of your heart:
4. Don't compare your life to others.
You have no idea what their journey has been.

5. Try to turn negatives thoughts into positives.
Being negative doesn't help anyone grow.

6. Know what your limits are.
Practice keeping them as often as you can.

7. Dream more while you're awake.

8. Smile and laugh more often, with as many people as you can.

For the health of others:
9. Call your family often.

10. Each day, give something good to others.

11. Remember that, what other people think about you is none of your business.

12. Your job won't take care of you when you're sick or sad.
Your friends will.
Remember them and keep in touch.

For everything else:
13. Do the right thing!
You know what the right thing is.
No excuses.

14. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.

15. No matter how terrible a situation;
No matter how wonderful a situation;
Things changes.

16. No matter how you fell,
Get up, dress up, and show up.

17. Your inner most is always happy.
So, be happy!

***I found this on a tumblr post. I couldn't find a source, I couldn't find an author. Seems to be a compilation of a bunch of advice from all over. I am not claiming this as my own, I'm just passing it along.

xxLindsey

Dreaming of Warmer Weather.

Living in the Pacific Northwest often means that our weather can be...temperamental. We get fun and sun, but if you blink your eyes, the clouds roll in and it's raining. We are known for the rain and we get lots of it!

But at this point in the year, we are getting the teaser days. The highs are around 70, the nights and evenings are still quite chilly! It's, actually, my favorite time of the year. Some days are sunny, hot, beautiful, but at night, I'm still able to sleep, snuggle in my blankets, and enjoy the cool breeze coming through the window. It's quite beautiful!

There is something so intoxicating about warm weather. Like all things are possible and all things are open to you! The world is your oyster, or so they say. I was speaking to my boyfriend about this. In the summer you never feel as tired. You can go out to drinks, dinner, dessert, concerts, walking on the river, movies in the park, and enjoy yourself. There's hardly a time when you say no to things when the weather is nice. 

BBQ chicken, corn on the cob, watermelon, burgers, all the good food! Oh my goodness, my mouth is watering! But back on track, summer and spring is all about the happiness, and all the fun you can have with the weather and your friends and enjoying.

The point of this post? Warm weather means one of my absolute favorite things on the planet! That is... SUNDRESSES! Gosh, I would live in them if I could. They're easy, comfortable, and all you have to do is find shoes and jewelry and you're out the door. Ugh, it's just something I adore. 

I bought a dress at the Old Navy Dress Sale that I am in love with! And I bought a new jean jacket because the one I had was from 2005. Time for a new one. And I put them together for a fun outfit idea and I cannot wait!  

The scarf is from GAP many years ago and I just thought the patterns were a fun mix. I'm so happy! I think I have to perfect occasion to wear this! But it's a secret since I'm surprising my boyfriend for his birthday! 

Enjoy the sunshine!

xxLindsey