Alright folks.. Listen up!

I am COMPLETELY AWARE that I have been slacking off on weigh-ins. Just meaning I skipped last week. But that was because I was in a mood and already a little upset so I decided that I needed to give myself a break and not ruin my Thursday.

My boyfriend told me to do it because it COULD be amazing. I could be surprised that I was down. But I just wanted to avoid the chance that it was up.

So this weekend, a few of my friends from college all met up and we went to my parents' beach condo for the weekend. Most of us still live in the area so we can easily spend time together, but this was a special weekend because one of the girls lives in LA. And she made the plane trip up here to spend some time and catch up.

Well, I know that would constitute a LOT of eating. Girls Weekends always do. So I did my best to eat not too much and to INSIST on walking on the beach as much as possible. So that's what we did.

I have a FitBit and I decided to wear it during the weekend to see if I could get some good steps in. I recently reset my goal to 5,000 steps a day, instead of the pre-programmed 10,000 steps, just because I knew I would struggle to get 10,000 steps at my new job. And although that may not seem like very many, it has been a more manageable goal for me. And, although most days it is much to hot to do anything, at the beach the weather made me so happy. Which made being outside the best! So we walked... and walked... and walked. On Saturday, I hit 18,000 steps and have the sore muscles to prove it. Just to clarify this, I would like to mention that I am not athletic, nor in shape, but I can walk without a problem... but walking in loose, dry sand, that is a different story. My ankles and calves are screaming. And that feeling makes me feel good.

A friend of mine could not come down until Saturday afternoon, and that was because she is a nurse and had to work the Friday Night shift. So she was able to come on Saturday and have a great day. She also is recently engaged and asked me to... BE HER MAID OF HONOR!!

I am so blessed and feel so honored and excited to be part of such a huge part of her life! However, that means there will be a million pictures of me taken.. and in a dress.. and that is just something that I am not ready for. Not yet. I am not happy with the way my body looks and I think this is just the push I need to work through some of my issues with food and some of my "pushing it to the back burner" tendencies with all dieting.

You see, I get this idea in my head that one bag of Cheetos won't matter, one GIANT cookie won't matter, a bowl of ice cream won't matter, eating out for lunch AND dinner won't matter. And, I know that usually one of those things wouldn't matter if I did just one of them once in a while. However, instead, I do two or three a DAY! And that has to stop.

I have to stop living my life like something else is coming along. That I can do all these things tomorrow, that I can worry about it tomorrow, that something is going to happen SOMEDAY. What about today?

So now that I have 411 days. That's how long I have to get to my goal weight. And looking at that number and thinking I have plenty of time is NOT an option. It is something that I need to do today so that I won't look at that number and see just 11 days and want to cry because I haven't done anything.

I do that all the time. I look at a date and I see that I have SO much time. I can do this, this, and this before the day. Then the day comes, and I haven't done anything.

However, with all this being said, I know I am someone who cannot deprive myself of sweets, treats, and unhealthy food. So I am just going to look for alternatives.

Right now, having just got back from my lunch and wanting some hot chocolate, I am having No Sugar Added Hot Chocolate Packs. They're 1 PP per pack. And I like mine sweeter so I am having two packs. It is something that satisfies my sweet tooth, and isn't too heavy on points, AND I don't have to be worried about my weight loss journey.. Its all about finding the balance and the help that I need in order to find my weight loss stride.

Weight Watcher Girl, whom I have spoken about many times, has really been an inspiration for me. She is so sweet and understand and every week she posts new food points that are low in points, or she shows recipes that are great when it comes to PP value and taste.

If I am going to do this, I have to just do it. Quit being so scared to fail that I sit there being stagnant.

I just want to love myself and my body.

While I was at the beach this weekend, I wrote in this journal I carry with me about how gossip leaves you feeling awful, even if it is fun and engaging at the moment. And that's how I relate to eating. Cheetos taste amazing and are satisfying in the very beginning for a short time, but they leave me feeling awful and not happy in the long haul. I just need to keep myself more focused and the wedding is a great place to start.

Thank you for reading!

I promise to weigh-in on Thursday no matter how I am feeling.

I also may change my weigh in day to Tuesdays.. That may make a difference. But we will see.

Thank you again! I am sending encouraging thoughts and happiness to you all!

A Peak and a Pit: One

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN AND PUBLISHED ON MY WEIGHT WATCHER'S BLOG: June 30th, 2014

Because I was so happy about my huge weight loss the first week, I went out and celebrated, and celebrated... and celebrated. And I am down to 1 extra point for the week and I just cannot stop myself. So that was a pit.

Definitely something that I knew would happen for me. Some weeks you just need it, want it, accidentally use it, or whatever. But it's sad that it happened to me so soon into the program. Although, on the other hand, I guess it makes sense that I would do it soon, because taking the amount of food I was in-taking down to 31 points a day, it leaves a lot of room for hunger, or just habit.

But I hope to do better. I think I can. I know I can. It's just a matter or trying a lot harder and planning a lot more!

I am moving soon and will have access to an elliptical and will only have food in the house for me and my boyfriend. Hopefully I won't have to worry about any food that will be a temptation. Because when there is temptation, I cannot say no. I struggle with that a lot.

However, I decided that today, on my lunch break, I wanted to walk around instead of just sitting there doing nothing. And it was so nice. I walked around my building for 15 minutes and enjoyed the sun and just looked around and it was so nice.

So on days where the weather permits, I think that will be a habit for me.

Even though it was only 1 extra point, there is no such thing as small successes!

Happy Monday!

One More Step at a Time...

For your physical health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
It aids in weight loss, promotes healthy skin, and helps with cellulite and discoloration.

2. Eat breakfast like a king.
Eat lunch like a prince.
Eat dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees, plants, and come from the ground.
Eat less things that are manufactured in plants.

For the health of your heart:
4. Don't compare your life to others.
You have no idea what their journey has been.

5. Try to turn negatives thoughts into positives.
Being negative doesn't help anyone grow.

6. Know what your limits are.
Practice keeping them as often as you can.

7. Dream more while you're awake.

8. Smile and laugh more often, with as many people as you can.

For the health of others:
9. Call your family often.

10. Each day, give something good to others.

11. Remember that, what other people think about you is none of your business.

12. Your job won't take care of you when you're sick or sad.
Your friends will.
Remember them and keep in touch.

For everything else:
13. Do the right thing!
You know what the right thing is.
No excuses.

14. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.

15. No matter how terrible a situation;
No matter how wonderful a situation;
Things changes.

16. No matter how you fell,
Get up, dress up, and show up.

17. Your inner most is always happy.
So, be happy!

***I found this on a tumblr post. I couldn't find a source, I couldn't find an author. Seems to be a compilation of a bunch of advice from all over. I am not claiming this as my own, I'm just passing it along.

xxLindsey

The Three Things that Matter Most.

In the end, only three things matter:
how much you loved,
how gently you lived,
and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.
--Buddha

Sometimes we just need a little reminder that the little things in life don't matter as much as they seem. Focusing on your heart and the type of person and energy you are blessing the world with will leave room in your soul for all the things that really matter.

Let Me Paint You a Picture.

Today is just one of those days, finding that you miss when things were more simple.

For me, that's always been summer vacation. You get to sleep in, have no responsibilities, sit in the sunshine, paint your toe nails, have a tan, and go on trips with your family. There's so much nostalgia associated with it.

Maybe the reason I am wishing I could be consumed by those times, is because I am sitting on the floor of my bedroom; the same bedroom I have was brought home from the hospital to. But let me raise you a Boom Box and forty or so mixed CDs I made in high school. Some of the music I still listen to frequently, and some of the songs I haven't heard in years and years.

We are in the day of iPods, iPads, music files, and YouTube. We no longer hope that our favorite songs come on the radio; or call in and request! *cough* Barbie Girl *cough* Instead, we hear a song we like, and we download it. We can listen to our favorites ten million times, learn all the words, and be onto the next song in hours.

But back in the day, mixed CDs were the only way to have the music you wanted when you wanted it. I just put in a CD and "Come Clean" by Hilary Duff was the first track. Followed by "Flavor of the Week" and three [yes, three] Celine Dion hits.

This is like a beautiful treasure hunt; most of these CDs have some obscure title, picture, or simple nothing at all drawn onto the face. No track list, no artist name, no year. Some CD titles I have come across so far: Sad Songs, Signature Collection, Random Stuff but GOOOOOOOD, Encounter [Years 2004, 2005, and 2006], RBL Mix, and one that simply has a heart on it. Other than that, there is nothing written on them.

Exploration of my musical tastes over the years! And I am feeling overwhelmed by the amount of memories that come with the music.
It is said that memories is most closely and accurately remembered with smell, but music is a crazy reminder of certain times in our lives, our friends, our feelings.

What makes this picture more beautiful, and very true of my true nature, is that I have the window WIDE open. The air coming in is crisp and cool, but not too cold. It just rained a little and the smell is overwhelmingly delicious. This is at the top of my list of most loved things in life.

Another one of my favorite things, is hearing one of these songs, one that I haven't thought about or heard in at least eight years, and still knowing every single word. It's enough to make someone [ahem.. me] cry.

So, my picture, that I am suppose to be painting for you.

I am sitting on my floor, next to my bed, boom box next to me, pile of CDs scattered all around, and my computer in my lap. All things that point to a teenager's room. One you may see in a movie or cartoon. However, as it goes, I am a 26 year old, adult woman, with a job, driver's license, and a much better understanding of life than my teenage self. Yet! I sit here and couldn't be happier  reliving some of my teenage afternoons, spent alone, listening to music, and wishing I didn't have homework and did have someone glamourous to go.

One of the songs just skipped, and I instinctively knew it would. These CDs were burned in my memory banks at one point or another and have never left. That makes me smile.

My Prince Charming...

Doesn't have to be a prince at all. For everyone out there looking for their Prince or Princess of their dreams, there is always a little list. This list can be written out, or just mental, and it is a list of things that we want in our life partner, soul mate, other half.

My list was written out. I had it in a note in my phone and I would add to it every time I had a.. less that perfect dating experience. But it became a list that didn't leave me with much of an open mind. I got so stuck in the mind set of a man with a certain look, certain accomplishments, and so many superficial things.

A good friend of mine helped me break free of this. She wrote me a small note that I have kept ever since. It was a beautiful note and it was such insight that I found a weight lifting off of me.

The note said this:

"What to look for in a man!
-integrity -adhere to a moral code
-honesty
-confidence
-makes you feel valued
-someone one, if he leaves me, he'll leave me better off
-someone who is prepared to take care of me
-someone who can take care of my heart
You deserve the best! and you're worth it. You don't need to settle for less."

There is nothing wrong with the need to be attracted to your one true. There has to be a little bit of a physical attraction. However, her list opened my eyes to the things that are ACTUALLY important.

My list, before this epiphany, included: dog lover, over 6'3", owns a car, college degree, loves his family, dark hair, kindness, belief in a higher power.

Nothing wrong with those, but if I was going to be strict to that list, I would miss out on a lot of great people, and I would also be boxed into dating a certain kind of man.

The weight that was lifted when she gave me her list was this: the superficial things don't matter as much as I was making them out to. A kind hearted man who would take care of mine. He may be shorter, like cats, drive the car he's had since high school, and still working on college. None of those things matter as much as what is present in his heart.

So, thank you Hollie! You have opened my eyes to what is out there.

And interestingly enough, when I opened up my heart to other things, I was pleasantly surprised to find a man who I have fallen head over heels for. He checks off everything on Hollie's list, and had proven to be one hundred percent better than any old list I had.

Open heart, open mind, just know you deserve to be treated like a treasure, a precious stone, because we are all just that.

xxLindsey

Stop Being Them, and Start Being YOU!

Welcome! and Welcome back!

This blog has been so many things before. A makeup blog, a place to launch my freelance makeup artistry business, a personal space for quotes and pictures... It became those things in the past because those were the suggestions of others. I often heard the question, "What do you write about on your blog?" and to that, I answered, "A little bit of everything!" Proud of my answer, I would get confused looks and then the suggestions came rolling in. "You need to focus on one thing." "How can you gain followers if you don't have a focus?" And the list goes on and on.

But I recently came to the conclusion, while wishing I had a single blog instead of three, that I am allowed to share on my blog, all the things I wish to share. If it is an amazing beauty product, some tips and tricks I picked up doing a wedding, or if I just feel like sharing a heart wrenching realization that I need to put out into the world, I am going to have a place to do it. 

The title of my blog: Beauty and Wonderment. This is a perfect, and all encompassing umbrella phrase for everything I find beautiful and wondrous. Makeup, fashion, religion, feelings, books, art, projects, my friends, love, family. All of these things have a place in my heart and are a part of who I am. Some people have a main focus, a talent that they cannot go a day without experiencing. I have that too! It isn't easily summed up in a single word or hobby. I love it all. I am passionate about so many things.

So, I am hoping that this will be a great and new beginning for me. 

Like I mentioned above, I have two other blogs, along with this one. But I want to merge them together to for something beautiful and wonderful and something that is all mine.

Confessions of a Book Lover, the blog I started a few summers ago when I was reading at least 15 novels a month, was so much fun, but quickly became daunting since I was blogging more than I was reading. So I will be transferring all my book reviews from there, to my GoodReads.com profile. I will be reviewing books there from here on out. That website is so amazing!

The Life of Lindsey is a personal blog that I started when I was living in LA, almost three years ago. I needed an outlet from the situation I was in and it became my obsession. But once I stopped posting every single day, and obsessing about it, I became torn between posting things here, or posting things there. So I will be taking some of my earlier posts and revamping them for here. But some of the older ones that are no longer pertinent will be erased, released to the world wide web...

So, this is day and a time for new beginnings. There are so many things that I have on my heart write, there are so many beauty products I want to write about and review, and there are so many quotes and stories I want to write about. 

Welcome to Beauty and Wonderment! I hope you enjoy, subscribe, and embark on the journey with me!

xxLindsey