Pictures pinned from Pinterest. Sources on photos.
Beauty and Wonderment.
and above all watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. those who don't believe in magic will never find it.
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Scribblings Two: 'Real Life'
Picture found through Google Image Search, keyword: real life.
That is a loaded topic, isn't it? Real life...
When I read this prompt, I was expecting a little bit of an explanation. A little bit of guidance to move me in one direction or the other. However, that didn't happen. Just two words: real life.
So I chose to take the liberties and write about some things that are going on in my real life.
The blogging world is an interesting one. I don't know if I have regular readers, or perhaps ones that stop by occasionally, or none at all, however, that doesn't mean I don't want to write. It doesn't mean I am going to stop my blog. Because even if I am here for one person, and that person is myself, it is still worth it.
The blogging world is an interesting one. It allows people to showcase the amazing parts of themselves to the internet. I know this because I do that too. However, when you read a blog about things like that, it often can change the way you look at your own real life. And it begins to be a comparison between someone else's blog life, internet life, and our own real life. But blogging is the complete opposite of that. It only shows the pretty parts and sometimes the vulnerable parts, but it never is going to show the whole parts.
So the topic at had, my real life.
Hmm...
I guess something that is happening in my real life is learning to live on my own and pay for all my own things. That is something that I realized would happen, but now that I am here and dealing with it, it is scary and exciting and all together interesting to say the least.
For instance, just this morning, my boyfriend/roommate drove me to work so that he could take my car in on his day off and get the oil changed and fix the flat tire we got on Sunday night. And all of those things I had to pay for myself. I have never had to do that before. But I did, and that's what matters.
I hated the cushions on the back of my couch. I mean the couch is great for the $500 I paid for it brand new, however, the cushions don't come up high enough for my 6'5" boyfriend and my 5'8" self. They just don't make for a comfortable time on the couch, unless we are laying down or turn the cushions on their sides. So, instead of complaining, and worrying about it constantly, I decided to find more interesting pillows that I likes a lot better than the ones I had, and ones that would come up much higher on our backs. They are 24"x 24" pillow covers with a GORGEOUS map print. And when those are delivered, all we have to do is stuff them.
It will make my couch more unique and it will give it the personal touch that I need. These pillows will also add some color, texture, gives us more light. Plus! Again, the pattern and color will be nothing like anyone else has! I cannot wait!
Picture from the Etsy seller I used: Cut4You.
I have a pear tree in my backyard that I really need pick up to fallen pears from before my boyfriend can mow, so that is something that I have to do tonight that I am looking forward to almost as much as a Root Canal. Har Har Har...
I washed my hair today and it looks terrible. I hate hair washing day.
I am wearing an orange sweater today that is so cute, but also way too hot.
These are the real life things I am dealing with at the moment. It is my real life.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Scribblings One: 'What Would You Attempt if You Knew You Would Not Fail?'
I was searching the web looking for somewhere where I could get some prompts for my blog. I love posting about my weight loss, my life, my feelings, but sometimes (like right now) I am in desperate need of a deeper, more powerful post to keep my heart and soul open. I hope that makes sense.
So I found, through an avenue of a Google search and two blogs, a blog that is no longer being updates regularly, however it is a blog that was started to offer writing prompts to writers who may be struggling with Writer's Block, for those who journal, for those who seem to need something to write. And sometimes that is exactly what I need.
WHAT WOULD YOU ATTEMPT IF YOU KNEW YOU WOULD NOT FAIL?
This is an age old question... and some people take it and run with it, deep down to the depths of their soul, and some people take it to a silly place, keeping it light and airy.
I want to keep it in the middle.
Before I begin I want to start with a story... Once upon a time...
When I was a junior in college, I realized that I needed to study abroad. Now or never. It was something I needed to do right then or I would never have to opportunity to do it again. So I did a tiny bit of research and (like my college search) picked one place, applied, was accepted, and the rest is history. I was going to Ireland. Only for 6 weeks, in the summer, but it was an opportunity to spread my wings, experience something I never have before, and something that I could use to grow myself in the most magical way possible.
This was something that I knew I would love to do and something that not all my friends had the opportunity to do and something that would make me unique to potential employers, etc. So I decided to do it, packed my bags, and I was off like a dirty shirt (Pretty in Pink reference!).
When I saw this question I wanted to do something silly and not very personal, however, I think there are too many things in this world that are no longer personal. And a blog should be, because I am writing it for myself. There may be people reading it, there may not, but I love writing so much and think this is a great way to work on it. To get that fix that writing sometimes gives me.
So I would attempt to move to a foreign country on a whim. Specifically Ireland. Perhaps the UK.
Image found on a Google Search for Cliffs of Moher, Ireland.
I don't mean whim, as in decide to buy a plane ticket on a Tuesday and be in the new city, state, country, continent by Friday. However, I mean decide to go for personal and selfish reasons. I wouldn't want to go because a job was offered to me somewhere, or because my boyfriend got a job there, or because I had family or friends asking me to go there. I would want to do it because I had a wanderlust coating on my heart and that I was itching for an adventure. I would want to have nothing to go on but a few apartment guides, the help wanted ads, and the kindness of distant relatives and friends of friends (or even friends of friends of friends; I'm not picky about that).
The job is something that I would struggle with, however, in this perfect world created by this question, I think it is only fair to realize that I wouldn't fail. I would find a job and an apartment. I wouldn't fail in all the things I wouldn't be able to fail in. The basic, human, necessities: food, water, shelter.
I am now taking liberties with this question and assuming that, I wouldn't fail with things that matter, but I would be in a position to face emotional and personal failure. I would still be able to get my heart broken, face hardships when it came to success, getting everything I wanted, living the lifestyle I had only dreamed of.
I wouldn't call getting everything you wanted easily and readily to be considered not failing. I just mean that the big things can't go wrong, or they can but never without a faith-based back-up plan.
Now that I am looking at this I think this is a possible achievement. I believe that, for the most part, we never actual fail. We have set backs, less than ideal circumstances, but none of those are components to a lack of success. They are simply bumps in the long road of life. Success wouldn't be considered so sweet if we never failed at anything. If everything were handed to us, our expectations would be greater than the universe and would never be met.
So, in conclusion, it looks like the main ideal here is "What would you attempt if you knew you would not fail?" But if you look at the opportunities and the small 'failures' they really just lead to the amazing successes and the things that open us up to much better things in this world.
Embrace the failures. They lead to the most amazing successes.
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Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Revelation about Weight Loss and Society.
So, yet again, I know some things went wrong and I just didn't weigh in again last week. But I was overwhelmed and stressed last week about a lot of things and I think it has to do with that. Like holding onto my weight on an unconscious level because I was emotionally struggling.
I weighed myself on Wednesday night, and I know that was a bad idea since it is the whole day's worth of food, water, gravity, etc. But the number was almost to my starting weight. I weigh myself right before I get in the shower with my hair brushed out and with no clothes on. That weigh I slept off anything and I am at least 8 hours fasting.
This is probably very silly to most people, and it is probably a very familiar ritual for others. It just seems to be the way it works best for me.
I wish that my weight was always at the forefront of my mind. I want it to be a constant when I am sitting at my desk and have a snack attack. But it isn't until after. However, this week, I am fairly confident. I need to get better about tracking my points instead of just being conscientious of what I am eating. I need to actually track so I know how many points things are.
I feel as though some people may read this post or even my whole blog (here's hoping... right?) and think that I write about these things all the time, how come I am not doing it?! What is the issue?! You can't seem to get it together. However, there are a LOT of things that go into making weight loss successful.
You have to have all your channels, thoughts, emotions, and dreams in line. You have to DEEP DOWN want to change and it takes a lot of repetition, messing up, research, trial and error, victories, and set backs. However, if it was that easy, I don't think anyone would struggle with it so much, there would be no need for shows like The Biggest Loser, The Swan, Extreme Makeover, My 600 lb. Life, etc. People would gain weight and then lose it. End of story.
Something I have realized is it is easier to be heavy. It is easier to eat whatever you want and never do anything about it. Especially on the income some people live on, and the cost of healthy whole foods versus processed and packaged food. It is made easier in our society, yet we are bombarded by the Thin Ideal in the world. So which is it? Save money and buy these less expensive foods, but also be perfectly healthy and thin! Another interesting thing is how you have to be extremely well off financially. For instance, a gym membership costs a lot of money each month, the gas to drive there costs money, healthy food is expensive, healthy food/organic food is costly, most diet programs are expensive, personal trainers are through the roof with their rates. It is ridiculous to think that those low income people who may be a bit over weight can just simply do it. Especially if they are expected, by society, to use at the 'readily available programs' to accomplish their goal.
Enough about that rant! I think there is a lot to be said about it! But I could go on for hours.
Anyway, all I am saying is I am trying and that is all anyone can do.
I have no idea where this post was going to go, but I want to tell you that I will be weighing in on Thursday no matter the number and I am going to try and do better. That's all any of us can do.
I weighed myself on Wednesday night, and I know that was a bad idea since it is the whole day's worth of food, water, gravity, etc. But the number was almost to my starting weight. I weigh myself right before I get in the shower with my hair brushed out and with no clothes on. That weigh I slept off anything and I am at least 8 hours fasting.
This is probably very silly to most people, and it is probably a very familiar ritual for others. It just seems to be the way it works best for me.
I wish that my weight was always at the forefront of my mind. I want it to be a constant when I am sitting at my desk and have a snack attack. But it isn't until after. However, this week, I am fairly confident. I need to get better about tracking my points instead of just being conscientious of what I am eating. I need to actually track so I know how many points things are.
I feel as though some people may read this post or even my whole blog (here's hoping... right?) and think that I write about these things all the time, how come I am not doing it?! What is the issue?! You can't seem to get it together. However, there are a LOT of things that go into making weight loss successful.
You have to have all your channels, thoughts, emotions, and dreams in line. You have to DEEP DOWN want to change and it takes a lot of repetition, messing up, research, trial and error, victories, and set backs. However, if it was that easy, I don't think anyone would struggle with it so much, there would be no need for shows like The Biggest Loser, The Swan, Extreme Makeover, My 600 lb. Life, etc. People would gain weight and then lose it. End of story.
Something I have realized is it is easier to be heavy. It is easier to eat whatever you want and never do anything about it. Especially on the income some people live on, and the cost of healthy whole foods versus processed and packaged food. It is made easier in our society, yet we are bombarded by the Thin Ideal in the world. So which is it? Save money and buy these less expensive foods, but also be perfectly healthy and thin! Another interesting thing is how you have to be extremely well off financially. For instance, a gym membership costs a lot of money each month, the gas to drive there costs money, healthy food is expensive, healthy food/organic food is costly, most diet programs are expensive, personal trainers are through the roof with their rates. It is ridiculous to think that those low income people who may be a bit over weight can just simply do it. Especially if they are expected, by society, to use at the 'readily available programs' to accomplish their goal.
Enough about that rant! I think there is a lot to be said about it! But I could go on for hours.
Anyway, all I am saying is I am trying and that is all anyone can do.
I have no idea where this post was going to go, but I want to tell you that I will be weighing in on Thursday no matter the number and I am going to try and do better. That's all any of us can do.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Alright folks.. Listen up!
I am COMPLETELY AWARE that I have been slacking off on weigh-ins. Just meaning I skipped last week. But that was because I was in a mood and already a little upset so I decided that I needed to give myself a break and not ruin my Thursday.
My boyfriend told me to do it because it COULD be amazing. I could be surprised that I was down. But I just wanted to avoid the chance that it was up.
So this weekend, a few of my friends from college all met up and we went to my parents' beach condo for the weekend. Most of us still live in the area so we can easily spend time together, but this was a special weekend because one of the girls lives in LA. And she made the plane trip up here to spend some time and catch up.
Well, I know that would constitute a LOT of eating. Girls Weekends always do. So I did my best to eat not too much and to INSIST on walking on the beach as much as possible. So that's what we did.
I have a FitBit and I decided to wear it during the weekend to see if I could get some good steps in. I recently reset my goal to 5,000 steps a day, instead of the pre-programmed 10,000 steps, just because I knew I would struggle to get 10,000 steps at my new job. And although that may not seem like very many, it has been a more manageable goal for me. And, although most days it is much to hot to do anything, at the beach the weather made me so happy. Which made being outside the best! So we walked... and walked... and walked. On Saturday, I hit 18,000 steps and have the sore muscles to prove it. Just to clarify this, I would like to mention that I am not athletic, nor in shape, but I can walk without a problem... but walking in loose, dry sand, that is a different story. My ankles and calves are screaming. And that feeling makes me feel good.
A friend of mine could not come down until Saturday afternoon, and that was because she is a nurse and had to work the Friday Night shift. So she was able to come on Saturday and have a great day. She also is recently engaged and asked me to... BE HER MAID OF HONOR!!
I am so blessed and feel so honored and excited to be part of such a huge part of her life! However, that means there will be a million pictures of me taken.. and in a dress.. and that is just something that I am not ready for. Not yet. I am not happy with the way my body looks and I think this is just the push I need to work through some of my issues with food and some of my "pushing it to the back burner" tendencies with all dieting.
You see, I get this idea in my head that one bag of Cheetos won't matter, one GIANT cookie won't matter, a bowl of ice cream won't matter, eating out for lunch AND dinner won't matter. And, I know that usually one of those things wouldn't matter if I did just one of them once in a while. However, instead, I do two or three a DAY! And that has to stop.
I have to stop living my life like something else is coming along. That I can do all these things tomorrow, that I can worry about it tomorrow, that something is going to happen SOMEDAY. What about today?
So now that I have 411 days. That's how long I have to get to my goal weight. And looking at that number and thinking I have plenty of time is NOT an option. It is something that I need to do today so that I won't look at that number and see just 11 days and want to cry because I haven't done anything.
I do that all the time. I look at a date and I see that I have SO much time. I can do this, this, and this before the day. Then the day comes, and I haven't done anything.
However, with all this being said, I know I am someone who cannot deprive myself of sweets, treats, and unhealthy food. So I am just going to look for alternatives.
Right now, having just got back from my lunch and wanting some hot chocolate, I am having No Sugar Added Hot Chocolate Packs. They're 1 PP per pack. And I like mine sweeter so I am having two packs. It is something that satisfies my sweet tooth, and isn't too heavy on points, AND I don't have to be worried about my weight loss journey.. Its all about finding the balance and the help that I need in order to find my weight loss stride.
Weight Watcher Girl, whom I have spoken about many times, has really been an inspiration for me. She is so sweet and understand and every week she posts new food points that are low in points, or she shows recipes that are great when it comes to PP value and taste.
If I am going to do this, I have to just do it. Quit being so scared to fail that I sit there being stagnant.
I just want to love myself and my body.
While I was at the beach this weekend, I wrote in this journal I carry with me about how gossip leaves you feeling awful, even if it is fun and engaging at the moment. And that's how I relate to eating. Cheetos taste amazing and are satisfying in the very beginning for a short time, but they leave me feeling awful and not happy in the long haul. I just need to keep myself more focused and the wedding is a great place to start.
Thank you for reading!
I promise to weigh-in on Thursday no matter how I am feeling.
I also may change my weigh in day to Tuesdays.. That may make a difference. But we will see.
Thank you again! I am sending encouraging thoughts and happiness to you all!
My boyfriend told me to do it because it COULD be amazing. I could be surprised that I was down. But I just wanted to avoid the chance that it was up.
So this weekend, a few of my friends from college all met up and we went to my parents' beach condo for the weekend. Most of us still live in the area so we can easily spend time together, but this was a special weekend because one of the girls lives in LA. And she made the plane trip up here to spend some time and catch up.
Well, I know that would constitute a LOT of eating. Girls Weekends always do. So I did my best to eat not too much and to INSIST on walking on the beach as much as possible. So that's what we did.
I have a FitBit and I decided to wear it during the weekend to see if I could get some good steps in. I recently reset my goal to 5,000 steps a day, instead of the pre-programmed 10,000 steps, just because I knew I would struggle to get 10,000 steps at my new job. And although that may not seem like very many, it has been a more manageable goal for me. And, although most days it is much to hot to do anything, at the beach the weather made me so happy. Which made being outside the best! So we walked... and walked... and walked. On Saturday, I hit 18,000 steps and have the sore muscles to prove it. Just to clarify this, I would like to mention that I am not athletic, nor in shape, but I can walk without a problem... but walking in loose, dry sand, that is a different story. My ankles and calves are screaming. And that feeling makes me feel good.
A friend of mine could not come down until Saturday afternoon, and that was because she is a nurse and had to work the Friday Night shift. So she was able to come on Saturday and have a great day. She also is recently engaged and asked me to... BE HER MAID OF HONOR!!
I am so blessed and feel so honored and excited to be part of such a huge part of her life! However, that means there will be a million pictures of me taken.. and in a dress.. and that is just something that I am not ready for. Not yet. I am not happy with the way my body looks and I think this is just the push I need to work through some of my issues with food and some of my "pushing it to the back burner" tendencies with all dieting.
You see, I get this idea in my head that one bag of Cheetos won't matter, one GIANT cookie won't matter, a bowl of ice cream won't matter, eating out for lunch AND dinner won't matter. And, I know that usually one of those things wouldn't matter if I did just one of them once in a while. However, instead, I do two or three a DAY! And that has to stop.
I have to stop living my life like something else is coming along. That I can do all these things tomorrow, that I can worry about it tomorrow, that something is going to happen SOMEDAY. What about today?
So now that I have 411 days. That's how long I have to get to my goal weight. And looking at that number and thinking I have plenty of time is NOT an option. It is something that I need to do today so that I won't look at that number and see just 11 days and want to cry because I haven't done anything.
I do that all the time. I look at a date and I see that I have SO much time. I can do this, this, and this before the day. Then the day comes, and I haven't done anything.
However, with all this being said, I know I am someone who cannot deprive myself of sweets, treats, and unhealthy food. So I am just going to look for alternatives.
Right now, having just got back from my lunch and wanting some hot chocolate, I am having No Sugar Added Hot Chocolate Packs. They're 1 PP per pack. And I like mine sweeter so I am having two packs. It is something that satisfies my sweet tooth, and isn't too heavy on points, AND I don't have to be worried about my weight loss journey.. Its all about finding the balance and the help that I need in order to find my weight loss stride.
Weight Watcher Girl, whom I have spoken about many times, has really been an inspiration for me. She is so sweet and understand and every week she posts new food points that are low in points, or she shows recipes that are great when it comes to PP value and taste.
If I am going to do this, I have to just do it. Quit being so scared to fail that I sit there being stagnant.
I just want to love myself and my body.
While I was at the beach this weekend, I wrote in this journal I carry with me about how gossip leaves you feeling awful, even if it is fun and engaging at the moment. And that's how I relate to eating. Cheetos taste amazing and are satisfying in the very beginning for a short time, but they leave me feeling awful and not happy in the long haul. I just need to keep myself more focused and the wedding is a great place to start.
Thank you for reading!
I promise to weigh-in on Thursday no matter how I am feeling.
I also may change my weigh in day to Tuesdays.. That may make a difference. But we will see.
Thank you again! I am sending encouraging thoughts and happiness to you all!
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Fifty Facts about Me.
It felt like time to share some things about myself. I have done some surveys (reminiscent of MySpace) in the past, but I thought it would be fun to add fifty things about me that give insight into me.
- I have always been surrounded by the number 8.
- I am 5'8".
- I wear shoe size 8.
- My birthday is June 8th, 1988.
- My younger brother is the COOLEST person I know.
- He's writing a novel.
- He inspired me to write a novel as well.
- Him and I look VERY similar. You would never knew we were five years apart.
- I have naturally curly hair. I hated it the first 20 years of my life, and now I love it.
- I don't take it too seriously though. I have had my hair every length, and every color, including purple, which was my favorite!
- I spent the first half of my life believing that my eyes were hazel. Then I really looked at myself and realized they are as green as green eyes can be.
- The Raw Food Diet sounds amazing to me because I love fruit. I eat a lot of it.
- I also love Doritos, macaroni and cheese, ice cream, doughnuts, and cereal. All of which would make the Raw Food Diet impossible.
- Milk is at the top of my list as favorite drinks.
- I am very much an old woman at heart. Bed at 9 pm, up at 5 am, watching TV and reading, and being content with the small group of family and close friends.
- Grocery shopping gives me a thrill.
- All shopping does, actually.
- I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year ( He asked me to be his girlfriend on July 22, 2013), and I knew from the moment I saw him, two and a half months before he asked me to be hid girlfriend, that he was the one.
- I have always had a thing for tall men. My boyfriend is 6'5".
- I have done a bit of travelling, and would love to do it more and more as I grow older.
- I lived in Hollywood, California for a brief time.
- I studied abroad in Ireland.
- I believe, strongly, in God and Heaven but don't practice any specific religion.
- I out a lot of emphasis on The Universe. It is the thing that drives everything in our lives. God, serendipity, karma, fate, etc.
- I have a Bachelor's Degree in Behavioral Science.
- I am a licensed Esthitician. This allows me to practice waxing, skin treatments, and make-up.
- Every four years in school, I would hop back and forth between Public and Private school.
- I went to an all girls, private high school.
- I speak to the friends I met on the first day of high school, every single day.
- One of my closest friends, I met when we were two years old.
- My best friend, I became friend with when we were in second grade.
- I have always chosen quality over quantity when it comes to my friends.
- I hate using the calendar on my phone. I prefer a tangible planner.
- Dresses are my favorite thing to wear, but I am very picky when purchasing them.
- I am a Type 1 Diabetic. This means I produce NO insulin and have to inject it into myself every time I eat.
- I was fortunate enough to get to spend lots of time with my dad since he too early retirement because of an injury. He is the smartest man I know and still my number 1 call whenever I have any problems.
- I have the OVERWHELMING sense that I need to live in North Carolina at some point.
- I want to own a dog so much, but am worried that I wouldn't be a good enough mother.
- I have a very close family unit. My parents, my brother and I could spend weeks together and, fight yes, but still enjoy ourselves thoroughly.
- The beach is my favorite place to be. But the Oregon Coast is the top of the list.
- I am a huge softy.
- My closet, drawers, shows, and jewelry are all coordinated by color, type, sleeve length.
- I absolutely LOVE going to the movies.
- I will not see a scary movie unless I am thoroughly bribed by money and gummi butterflies.
- Binge watching a show is an understatement for me.
- Veronica Mars remains my favorite series.
- I love to read. Once I pick a book up, it is struggle to put it down and to think about anything else.
- The library is the best place on Earth. I don't own any kind of digital reader, so real books are like gold to me.
- I tend to get stuck on a song and replay it a million times until I am stuck on another song.
- I have had the same top three movies since I was 15.
- The Little Mermaid
- Walk to Remember
- Breakfast Club
I thought that would be harder than it was. In the middle I was thinking I wouldn't find anything else. But I got to number 50 and realized I could do a few more.
However, I will save them until next time.
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