It's a Hard-Knock Life...

I know, better than most people, that life is hard. I have had my fair share of things happen to me, bad things, good things, hard things, easy things, sad things, happy things. And all of those things entertwine and mix in my memories and self and just have helped me become who I am. They continue to shake me and shape me as I grow up, and grow older  and offer me my personalized life experience.

So, with all these 'things', I am faced with constantly growing, constantly changing, acting and reacting to life. The hard part is, and correct me if I'm wrong, the hard part is having the guys to get the things your heart whispers to you about. Being a "go-getter" is terrifying and scary! There is a beautiful quote (by whom, I'm not sure) that says, "it only takes 20 seconds of insane courage, and those 20 seconds can change your life". This is, of course, paraphrased. But it's a quote I constantly thing about. 20 second?! That's all?!

The kicker? It's getting passed the 20 seconds that can be even more terrifying than all the things you could gain after. Whether it's kissing someone, telling them you love them, quitting a job, telling the truth, taking a test, a job interview, a speech, walking into a funeral, calling an old friend. There are millions of things in this world, and in this life, that we need 20 seconds of courage for and on the other side, we come out better than we were before, as well as changed.

When I was younger, I struggled with public speaking. I wouldn't know if I still do, since I avoid it at all costs because of the overwhelming paralization that it used to give me. I would turn beat red, I would shake, stutter my words, never look up from my notecards, wish I was blessed with laryngitis so I could skip my presentations all together.

A side rant: why is speech class required in middle and high school? Are humans tortured enough between the ages of 11 and 18 with insecurities and acne, puberty, college applications, orthodonture, school dances, and several other things? Forcing those who don't want to, to stand in front of their classmates and give a five minute speech on England seems cruel and unusual! If someone likes giving speeches and enjoys that as an option, great! Let them do it! Have every test be oral! But for those who could not move passed it and were scarred for life from it, art projects, papers, one on one oral exams, multiple choice, anything else, will suffice. I remember more from papers and art projects I did than any of the speeches I gave.

But! Back to the point. I have this thing, a life change coming up, and I need to share it with someone, the only problem is it isn't beneficial for them at all. So I'm working on thinking back and helping ease my heart and my head by outting myself in their shoes. Though that helps with being logical, it doesn't help with nerves. 

I just have to do it. I am thinking to the other side of the conversation and it will open up so many doors and avenues for me. It's something that will move me towards a life that I want to lead, a life full of possibilities and dreams coming true. 

Wish me luck! I will share more about it when I can!

xxLindsey

***UPDATE

I did it! And it worked out so well! Things are looking up and I can't wait for all the exciting new chapters to come!